My victims Impact Statement...Unedited.

The jury could only hear what was allowed by the court.  Believe it or not but Edenfields lawyers had a say as well as to what was allowed to be said.  They had a chance to proof read it before it was read to the jury.  This is the original copy before the courts editing.  They did allow the jury to hear most of it but there was still alot taken out.

EXPLAIN YOUR PERSONAL KNOWLEDGE OF CHRISTOPHER

Christopher Michael Barrios Jr. Was a child you will always remember, the type you see in the grocery store line with the contagious smile.  He had the carefree sense of humor of a 6 yr. Old, with the energy of 2 kids in one.  He seemed to never slow down.  Loved his

Superheros and Ben 10 was his favorite.

  Christopher was Happy. 

All boy. 

Full of life and innocence.

He was an all around happy little 6 yr old boy.  He liked to play games on the computer, cartoon "anything" made him happy.  Christopher was funny and full of life and had a unique since of humor.  His laughter and smile on his face made you feel the same.  He loved completely and those who loved him made sure he knew he was special and that he mattered.  Christopher loved the out doors and spent alot of time just hanging out with his Uncle Frank.  Would have eatin pizza every single day if he could have and would look at you with surprise all over his face if you ever had to ask what he wanted for dinner.  Christopher Michael Barrios was a beautiful little boy with striking eyes and a smile so obvious to all that seemed to be able to touch even strangers in the oddest ways. 

An Angel, forever missed, ALWAYS ALWAYS LOVED.   

His life will never be forgotten, his memory always alive.  Christopher's beautiful life may have dimmed here on earth but even the real life monsters can't put it out in Heaven.

EXPLAIN HOW THIS CRIME HAS AFFECTED YOU (OR FAMILY MEMBERS).

Christopher's disappearance and untimely passing has brought our family heartache, chaos, blame, guilt and alot of times to our knees.  The majority of us have suffered in silence with drawing into ourselves from the public, from pain and emotions there are no words for.  We're caught up in a life, regardless of events, that keeps moving on.  All the time you have to try and keep control, maintain your sanity where really all you want to do is scream and rage at the unfairness of it all.  You never know how much the littlest, tiniest moment forgotten stay's in your mind and on your heart until it's gone.  Until there are no more tiny moments from that person.  That's hurt.  You play every moment over and over in your mind.  Always thinking what you could have done different, the "If Only's" make you crazy, its like drowning in despair.  All the time thinking "if only" I could have done this, or "if only" I would have sensed something.  If only I said "NO", You can't go out and play today.  These are thoughts that weigh on me and everyone.  Questions, if only's, wishes.  Nothing we can have, nothing we can change.  Some of us wear our grief on the outside, and others carry it deep inside themselves.  Everyone trying to figure out a way to cope.  What they can handle mentally.  We are all different yet we all feel the same despair, anger, rage.  So many days I have stood in the shower and cried and cried, wanting to scream.  Feeling empty and not knowing how to go on.  How do you keep pretending your strong?  How do you explain to a 4 year old where his big brother is.  How do you kiss nightmares away in your babies when your having them too?  These events caused scars on us all, some my heal and some never will.  It's tore relationships apart and caused all kinds of hurtful things to be said and done.  Grief is a horrible thing but its unexplainable.  I can look into the eyes of his brothers or his daddy and see Christopher.  I miss telling him its time for bed or even saying its time to come in and eat.  I miss his little hands and the noises he made under his breath when I said "its time to turn the game off."  The goodnights, the parks, I miss it all.  I would give any moment in my life to be able to have an argument with him over what color bug juice to get at the store.  School mornings and rushing around trying to find the other shoe.  Laughter that made you crack a smile when heard from another room.  You wake up every day and try to push the last moment of his life out of your mind. 

If you haven't found God, you will.  Those of us who thought we weren't spiritual, became so.  I've learned alot, and the biggest is - hold on to yours with everything.  Love as hard and as much as you can and listen and notice all the moment when that baby you loved so much is telling you he's "ok".  When you dream, he is walking with Jesus, let it feel you up.  Carry you through the hard times.  Give you and your family courage to face whatever comes.  You do it for him.  No matter how hard, you do it and know he is at peace in heaven.  And wrap his love around you.  Remember him always.  Celebrate his life and memory.  Don't let them have that to.

EXPLAIN HOW THIS CRIME HAS AFFECTED THE COMMUNITY.

Christopher's disapperence brought a community together.  There were not race, religions or differences.  Man, woman, children.  Mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends.  He touched each and everyone in this community.  His pictures with those bright filled eyes moved everyone.  that mischievious smile seemed to just pick people up and move them.  Love for a child most had never met, kept people searching for him.  His smile gave them hope, the fear it could have been one of theirs, unselfishness of knowing someones baby was gone gave them drive.  Strangers came together, reached out to my family and gave us hope.  Without ever knowing, they kept us going more times than they will ever know.  Through misquito infested woods, bug bites, scratches, exhausting nights and days, tears and endless hours and minutes of searching.  This community and people from far and wide seached for Christopher.  Prayers from all over were said for him and his family.  Christopher brought awareness to this community.  Created relationships that joined each other as life long friends.  People spend a little more time tucking their kids in at night.  They got to know their neighbors a little better.  They cried for the loss of a child like he was one of their own.  Christopher touched this community through the eyes of a 6 year old looking at you as if he knew you, as if he knew everything that was going on, and just wanted you to know he was alright. 

He created love in our community.  People helped each other beyond differences or beliefs.  He was an Angel and still is an Angel.

ALWAYS REMEMBER!