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Memories
Michelle Christian
 

I just wanted to say how lovely of a poem that was that was made for Christopher from his daddy, OMG, I cried so hard, my heart really really aches for you both Paula and Mike, and it aches for me as well, I hate those people sooooooooo bad,

As tears are streaming down my face right now as I type, I feel pure hate, and so much hurt! I still want to know why??? Please just know that your not alone, I hurt with you, and so does alot of other people!!! I want him back for you both, life just isn't fair!!! God Bless you both, all my love, your friend,Michelle:(

Daddy
 
MY CHILD

On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked alot of whys??
With people all around me
I felt alone inside
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully, 

My precious one
Paula
 
8-8-07
Its been 5 months today since our Angel was called home to live eternity with Jesus.  Although we miss him more than anything in this world, we know that he is in a much better place and will never hurt again.  Christopher's passing has affected our lives more than words can explain.  We will  never get over loosing such a wonderful child.  It hurts us so much, not only that his life was taken to soon but the way he was taken.  No child should ever have to endure the kind of pain that our Christopher did.  I pray every day that God took him early before the Edenfields actually took his life.  I hate to think that he was present during the awful acts that was committed upon him.  I know that he is safe now and heaven must be a much brighter place now that he is there.  I look forward to the day when I am called home and can see his beautiful smile again. 
 
I think a lot of parents take their time with their children for granted.  We always think that we're going to have another day with our child to hug them, kiss them, tell them how much we love them.  Then before we know it, that next day is no more and all you have left is memories of doing that.  When people see awful things happening to other children, they think "well that will never happen to my child"  Guess what?  We thought that very same thing.  We never in a million years thought that anything so horrible would ever happen to one of our children.  Then the unthinkable happens and our world comes crashing down around us.  Our world is now changed forever.  We will  never get to look into Christopher's eyes and tell him how much we love him, never be able to tuck him into bed, wake him up for school, see him graduate high school, get married, have kids....nothing.  Those days are no more. 
 
I would do ANYTHING to turn back time and change the things that happened or at least be able to have just one more day with him, to let him know that even though I was not his birth mother I still loved him just as much as if I was.  Let him know just how much it meant to me for him to be apart of my life and how much he has changed me.  No matter what, in my heart...Christopher will ALWAYS be my son, my child, my angel.  I will spend the rest of my life doing what ever I have to do to keep his memory alive.  Christopher will always be our super hero.
 
God Bless you sweet Angel.  You will never be forgotten.
 
Gone from our arms but never from our hearts.
 
*Before you leave, please take the time to light a candle in Christopher's memory.*
 
Before you light a candle for Christopher, please go to where ever you child is at and give them a great big hug and kiss and tell them how much you love them and what they mean to you.  You never know what could happen in the next minute.
 
God Bless,
Paula
Paula
 

8-7-07

 

My sweet little Christopher.  How I miss you so very much.  Its still hard to believe that you are gone.  I some times try to imagine that you are ok and just staying over at someone's house right now and that you will come home.  Even though I know that is not true but it helps ease the pain just a little, even if it is for just a short moment.

 

Jordan and I went to visit you a couple of days ago.  We cleaned up your resting place and added some fresh flowers and a Spiderman balloon.  I took a few pictures of him sitting and standing by you.  Although he is just a baby, I know that he misses his big brother and I know that he loves you just as much as your daddy and I do.  When Jordan gets older, we will always remind him that he has a beautiful and amazing brother who is now his angel watching over him and his family.  I went out there again early this morning to water the flowers, its just been so hot and I knew that they probably didn't have any left. 

 

Your daddy misses you SO MUCH.  He told me that he hasn't been out to visit you at your resting place since the day after you was laid there.  Said that its just way to hard for him right now but he said that he will be out there soon.  But he visits you every day in his heart.  He thinks about you constantly...every moment of every day.  I know its tearing him up inside for something so horrible to have happened to you. 

 

The pain of loosing you has been unbearable at times and I know that its only going to get worse once the trial starts and we learn of all the details of what happened to you.  I am NOT looking forward to hearing everything that happened and that is what is going to make loosing you even worse.  I wish there was a way we could just skip the details but I'm sure it will help us find closure knowing what went on in your last hours. 

 

Again.......we miss you more than ever Christopher.  You will always be in our hearts until we join you in Heaven.  Until then, keep smiling down on us and help us get through this difficult time.  I know that its going to be hard but the love we shared will help us fight another day.

 

Rest In Peace Sweet Angel  

 

Missing You Always And Forever,

Paula 

Paula
 

8-4-07

 

Good evening my sweet little angel.  You are so very missed and loved.  Not a day or night goes by that you are not thought of.  I love you Christopher so very much and our lives are forever changed.   It breaks my heart each day I wake up and know that you are no longer with us.  You kept us on our feet.  You were so full of life and humor, you had a smile that forever is embedded within us.  If only God would have given us more time with you, I guess every parent wants to be greedy when it comes to keeping their child forever and a day.  I just hope that when its my time to be called home, that you'll be the first one to welcome me.  Until then, all I have are memories of you and that is what keeps me going.  My heart is forever broken and you will always be missed.

 

Love you always,

Paula

 

Michelle Christian
 
Paula when I read what you had wrote about how you had a dream about Christopher, I couldn't help but think that the reason you had that dream was to show you that Christopher was really there with you and Mike sleeping on his chest, the reason you couldn't see him when you woke up was because it wasn't meant for you to see him, it's only meant for you to see him when you sleep, it's a little reasurance from God that he is still right there with you both in spirit even though he's not there in person, you really did see him I hope you know that, but you just seen him the way God wanted you to, not the way you prefer but it's close enough, so cherish every dream you have about him because it's a message to you, now just a dream, Christopher was there at that moment watching you and Mike, so please take it as a blessing!!! I love you both with all my heart, and I will always be here when you need me to be, im here for the taking, no matter when or what you may need, I am here and never going nowhere!!! TTYL and Keep in touch!! Michelle
Paula
 

7-22-07

 

I miss you so much Christopher.  I wish every day that you didn't have to go away.  I had a dream last night that you was here again and it was sooo real.  You was laying on your daddy's chest while he was sleeping but you was awake, you were just laying there looking around.  You never said a word but you really looked at peace.  You seemed so happy laying there with your daddy.  When I woke up, I quickly look towards your daddy and you was not there.  I became sad again. 

 

 I wish I could hold you again, see your smile, hear your laugh.  I can't wait to get to heaven to be with you once again and give you a great big hug and kiss. 

 

Love and miss you every day,

Paula

 

Tania Wanger
 

Paula,

The new pictures that you made brings tears to my eyes.  They are beautiful and a wonderful tribute to this beautiful angel, who will never be forgotten. Thank you for keeping his memory alive with this memorial site, where all of us come to visit your little boy.

 

Always thinking about your family and Christopher.

Denise
 

Paula,

  The scrapbook pages are beautiful, a loving tribute by a mother.  Giving birth to a child doesn't make one a mother.  It is nurturing, teaching a child right from wrong, being there when he needs you in the good times and the bad, and loving him no matter what.  The time you spend working on his memorial site, the words you have written about him, and the photographs you took, shows the love you had and  continue to have for this precious little boy. You were truly his mother. 

 

God bless you.

Paula
 

Here is a few scrapbook pages I made in memory of Christopher.  I just wanted to share with everyone, please do not take any of these. 

 

Thanks, Paula

 

 

 

Michelle Christian
 

Paula,

 

very beautiful song on christophers site, and the words are exact! He was a borrowed angel! Keep ur head up!

                                              Love,Michelle

Alysia (JCF)
 

"Christopher"

 

Struggles and hardship

Your small life did see

 

To young and innocent to

fight all three

 

Pain and tortures comitted

opon thee

 

He held his hand out

Yet no-one could see

 

"Come home my child

Let the monsters be"

 

"Vengence is Mine"

 

 "This distruction, This

evil, cannot be"

 

"I will not forsake you

Forget the rest"

 

"No anguish, No hurt

No more to thee"

 

"I will comfort you always,

come....walk with me"

 

 

Written by: A.C.

Nina (cousin)
 

To my baby cousin

Christopher Michael Barrios Jr.

 

Rest in peace my baby Christopher,

I don't think it was your time to go.

I don't think you deserved it,

but only god will know.

But why you?  Just why?

You never did a wrong.

You never hurt a soul

it just isn't right

just 6 years old and

you came missing Thursday night

You were just so precious

just so sweet

now without  you baby boy

our family is incomplete

from now on, every night

I'll go to bed thinking about you

and I'll never forget you, I promise

I promise with all my love, heart and soul

I'll never forget you as each day gets old

I just want to tell you

I just want to let you know

that I love you

and I'll never let you go

you will always be in my heart

untill the day I die

and then I'll be up there

sitting with you

right there in that

deep blue sky

 

In loving Memory of -

Christopher Michael Barrios Jr.

2001 - 2007

 

Writen by: Sandra Mata (Nina)

Christopher's cousin

Paula
 

MEMORIES


If we could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true,
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
For yesterday and You.
A thousand words can't bring you back
We know because we've tried...
Neither will a thousand tears
We know because we've cried...
You left behind our broken hearts
And happy memories too...
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted You

Michelle Christian
 
Paula: these are deffinately two beutiful poems that you have made to christopher,in fact the best ive ever read! And you are right you and christopher do share a cord and that cord will forever be attached to both of you, im so glad that he had you there for him, he needed a mom and you were there as one and he will always love you for that!!!  You and christopher will meet again,he's there waiting for all that love him, so we have to do great things in order to make it to that glorious place where he now resides for eternity!  I sure have been praying that you,mike and sue as well as the rest of your family will be given strength to get through this hell that you all have been made to endure do to the lost of that presious angel! WOW! if christopher really knew how special he is to alot of people and how loved he is,he would probably try to sneak back to earth to recieve all of his attention!LOL! But I am so sure that he is recieveing all of that and then some more from jesus and the other angels! My grandaddy is up there with christopher giveing him pony rides on his leg just loke he use to do to me when I was little! And my auntie is up there with christopher rocking him to sleep when he gets to hiper enough to sleep because of all the excitement in heaven due to all the attention he's getting there!LOL! Believe me Paula he's being well taken care of! I told you all that christopher was already an angel when he was here on earth,he was only pretending to be a little loved boy, he looked absolutely to perfect to be other wize! When you looked into his eyes everyday that you bathed him,clothed him and fed him,you were already getting a glimps of what heaven looked like,he was showing you through those beutiful eyes,and that smile:OH MY GOD THAT WONDERFUL SMILE!!! It was enough to light up a blind mans life and make him see again!!! Paula,I wanted to sicerely thank you personally for shareing that video of christopher,seing him swing and hearing his silly silly laughs made me understand why I love this little boy who is just a stranger to me,you cant help but love em,he makes you just wanna eat em up!LOL! I know that you all have no choice but to miss him like theres no tomorrow! He's trully special! I had to watch the video through harold turners youtube videos because it wouldnt come in on christophers site here and I was really frustrated because of that,I dont know why it wont show up here for me but I got to see it and thats all that matters and I thank you for shareing it,all of you looked very happy that day,and your children as well, I can tell that you had alot of fun togeather and that you took really good care of all of them,jordan was even haveing a blast and he is precious as well,and I know he has to miss christopher as well,with him not being there he knows somethings wrong,babys re smart and he can tell that his bubba christopher is not there to aggravate!LOL! Well paula cherish all of the memories you have because you all are blessed to have had christopher,and you still have him in spirit,im sure he's sitting right there shareing that bowl of cereal with your other kids on weekends,watching cartoons,and swinging along in the park whenever you go,not to mention going on car rides with you all and even sleeping in the bed next to you and mike each night,he's there everywhere that you go,he's there! And yes you will see him again and thats something to look forward to isnt it? Well take care paula and remember that my prayers belong to you all forever,and your baby which is now my baby too will always be loved by me and by alot of people! GODBLESS you and Mke paula and may he BLESS you both with any and every thing that you may need,you both desearve it and nothing less!  Sincerely,Michelle
Total Memories: 59
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